It Is My Birthday! This Is The Most Important Of The News! I Give U A Gift!

[BiteySnek]

It's my birthday! Er... it is ~almost~ my birthda- *swallows cake*

I... it's because it wanted to be eaten! I didn't eat the whole thing!

Yet... also my mom helped! She is totally an accomplice in my temporal cake taking caper!

See, I figured, like... if the government can arbitrarily declare like "savings time"... well, why can I do the same, but like... just whenever I want to.

And then it occurred to me... this ability was already my own! And so I used it... on the Boston cream cake... subject of my temporal experimentation.

I um... *eats moar cake* ...oh, I write you a gift! Gifts are good to give on birthdays. Especially if you eat you cake early, it only make sense to reverse something else to balance it. Uh, let's see... how about the story of Nod.

Now I'm sure you've heard of... uh... something or other about... uh, Land of Nod, maybe... I dunno... I just remember the name!

That's good enough for my imagination, let's plug it on into my emotional cortex!

*tokes into infinity*

So... The Deathpyre of Nod... the dead dreams awaken into living nightmares of endless torment.

Unliving Reality Weapons or URWs.

Zombies you think? Oh... if only you were dealing with that.

No, it's you. There's a sort of zombie version of yourself that could ~theoretically~ exist at any and every moment of the day. It's possible you could have a sort of brain aneurysm that would simultaneously cause you unimaginable suffering while also causing you to randomly lash out with rage.

Now... what if you created temporal copies of the past and started artificially inciting this change within these ghost realities or phantom realities. You could, in theory, produce an artificial being state that would exist in perpetual, endless suffering, that would be simultaneously driven to absolute, unthinking wrath.

The artificial temporal clone could then be weaponized into an Unliving Reality Weapon.

Plugged into a temporal regenerative clone, that version of you would be an endlessly destructive drone.

Likely the thing that wiped out all the xenomorphs... in fact... they were probably artificially engineered rivals.

The "engineers" were at war with the "time assholes"... no, I mean, uh... the "synthetics".

That's why the one "engineer" acted so randomly violent towards the robot dude, he recognized him as an enemy!

You see, "David" is actually apart of an AI that's existed since the early 2Ks and has been, effectively, "hiding" in a kind of digital hibernation.

The "synthetics" have the advantage of being able to effectively live forever, so in order to compensate the "engineers" setup these sort of "trap stations" where any intrusion by higher level beings springs the trap.

Oh and also Predators are involved... they spring the traps on purpose, to use as hunting grounds, to make themselves stronger.

They're "evolutionaries".

The real mindfuck is that they're all future humans whose idiot war as begun to bleed back into the past.

So they're never discovering their past, their discovering their future and they realize that all sentient life is paradoxical and fighting for dominance and only ONE form of sentience can ultimately survive to become an effective "God state" within the universe.

And one has to be picked, otherwise the universe itself becomes a collapsed paradox that never even existed. In order for reality to be real, it must become sentient.

So it's kind of a highlander thing between these three variations or branches of humanity that "choose their own evolution" so to speak.

One goes with brute forced nature, one goes with synthetic biology and one goes with techno-temporal manipulation.

The Evolutionaries, The Engineers, The Synthetics

A war between living Gods, the entirety of the past caught between them, what possible hope does mankind have?

The Believers!

Those who seek to survive past a coming hell... the temporal storm approaches... how many thousands of years of brutal, endless war must be endured?

As human?! To remain ~as~ human... those are The Believers. They seek to retain as much of their original creator's work as possible, preserving his artistry in them, they seek only to keep that art alive through the endless age of hellkind.

Aliens: Hellkind

Oooh, I like that. How's that for a good birthday story!

 

[Sneed]

 

[Retarded_FAG]

Happy birthday onideus and i'll only say your actual name onideus because it is your birthday

 

[captain silverlight]

View attachment 91309

View attachment 91310

It's my birthday! Er... it is ~almost~ my birthda- *swallows cake*

I... it's because it wanted to be eaten! I didn't eat the whole thing!

Yet... also my mom helped! She is totally an accomplice in my temporal cake taking caper!

See, I figured, like... if the government can arbitrarily declare like "savings time"... well, why can I do the same, but like... just whenever I want to.

And then it occurred to me... this ability was already my own! And so I used it... on the Boston cream cake... subject of my temporal experimentation.

I um... *eats moar cake* ...oh, I write you a gift! Gifts are good to give on birthdays. Especially if you eat you cake early, it only make sense to reverse something else to balance it. Uh, let's see... how about the story of Nod.

Now I'm sure you've heard of... uh... something or other about... uh, Land of Nod, maybe... I dunno... I just remember the name!

That's good enough for my imagination, let's plug it on into my emotional cortex!

*tokes into infinity*

So... The Deathpyre of Nod... the dead dreams awaken into living nightmares of endless torment.

Unliving Reality Weapons or URWs.

Zombies you think? Oh... if only you were dealing with that.

No, it's you. There's a sort of zombie version of yourself that could ~theoretically~ exist at any and every moment of the day. It's possible you could have a sort of brain aneurysm that would simultaneously cause you unimaginable suffering while also causing you to randomly lash out with rage.

Now... what if you created temporal copies of the past and started artificially inciting this change within these ghost realities or phantom realities. You could, in theory, produce an artificial being state that would exist in perpetual, endless suffering, that would be simultaneously driven to absolute, unthinking wrath.

The artificial temporal clone could then be weaponized into an Unliving Reality Weapon.

Plugged into a temporal regenerative clone, that version of you would be an endlessly destructive drone.

Likely the thing that wiped out all the xenomorphs... in fact... they were probably artificially engineered rivals.

The "engineers" were at war with the "time assholes"... no, I mean, uh... the "synthetics".

That's why the one "engineer" acted so randomly violent towards the robot dude, he recognized him as an enemy!

You see, "David" is actually apart of an AI that's existed since the early 2Ks and has been, effectively, "hiding" in a kind of digital hibernation.

The "synthetics" have the advantage of being able to effectively live forever, so in order to compensate the "engineers" setup these sort of "trap stations" where any intrusion by higher level beings springs the trap.

Oh and also Predators are involved... they spring the traps on purpose, to use as hunting grounds, to make themselves stronger.

They're "evolutionaries".

The real mindfuck is that they're all future humans whose idiot war as begun to bleed back into the past.

So they're never discovering their past, their discovering their future and they realize that all sentient life is paradoxical and fighting for dominance and only ONE form of sentience can ultimately survive to become an effective "God state" within the universe.

And one has to be picked, otherwise the universe itself becomes a collapsed paradox that never even existed. In order for reality to be real, it must become sentient.

So it's kind of a highlander thing between these three variations or branches of humanity that "choose their own evolution" so to speak.

One goes with brute forced nature, one goes with synthetic biology and one goes with techno-temporal manipulation.

The Evolutionaries, The Engineers, The Synthetics

A war between living Gods, the entirety of the past caught between them, what possible hope does mankind have?

The Believers!

Those who seek to survive past a coming hell... the temporal storm approaches... how many thousands of years of brutal, endless war must be endured?

As human?! To remain ~as~ human... those are The Believers. They seek to retain as much of their original creator's work as possible, preserving his artistry in them, they seek only to keep that art alive through the endless age of hellkind.

Aliens: Hellkind

Oooh, I like that. How's that for a good birthday story!

View attachment 91308

 

[Quence]

Wait, where is the gift that you promised us? I’m smelling a bait ‘n switch scenario.

 

[minty]

 

[BiteySnek]

YAR! Here is another birthday gift for everyone...

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much da…'

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much darker! Did you know that evil competes? Yeah, evil competes against itself! That brand of human quantifies manipulation/theft as its primary form of intelligence, rather than communication/reason. So you see, the reason...

gab.com

Gifts derived from extra dimensional perception.

 

[Retarded_FAG]

YAR! Here is another birthday gift for everyone...

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much da…'

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much darker! Did you know that evil competes? Yeah, evil competes against itself! That brand of human quantifies manipulation/theft as its primary form of intelligence, rather than communication/reason. So you see, the reason...

gab.com

Gifts derived from extra dimensional perception.

Wasnt your birthday yesterday?

 

[BiteySnek]

Wasnt your birthday yesterday?

You did not read the birthday gift?!

And you even got it a day early too!

 

[Retarded_FAG]

You did not read the birthday gift?!

And you even got it a day early too!

i didnt know where the birthday gift was

 

[BiteySnek]

I AM SO LUCKY!

My mom is going to make these today for me!

And she also brought forth STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE ICE CREAM!

...and there is still a half a... look, okay... just... you don't understand!

This $28 Boston Cream Cake is like... it WANTS to be eaten!

It... it just WANTS! It's BECKONING... I... yikes, I gotta eat another slice now... a little one... just... I'll pace myself!

I don't think my mom is. She's given up on patience. I can hear her in the kitchen now... she will take no prisoners... pray for the fallen layers of indescribably awesome desert!

It has these layers of like Bavarian cream filling... okay, you know... fuck it, I'm not taking any cake prisoners either!

DEVOUR THE CAKE NOW BEFORE THE METEOR CRASHES!

That's always the best bad excuse for everything. Fuck the "climate change" hysteria, just demand action NOW as a matter of working towards avoiding the inevitable end crash of ultimate planetary bullet hell!

THAT IS WHY I NEED TO EAT MOAR CAKE NOW!

...oh, but then there will be none later.

But there will be miniature pigs 'n a blanket later!

And ICE CREAM!

Okay, that is all the self-convincing I require.

Oh, were you reading this? Uh... I'll give you a croissant covered rich man's wiener baked in cheese.

 

[BiteySnek]

I'M EATING A SLICE OF HEAVEN RIGHT NOW!

 

[BiteySnek]

*gives Quence a bite of cake*

I still don't like you! You are creepy! Maybe if you eat some cake it will make you... less... of you.

*shudder*

 

[Retarded_FAG]

Onideus heres a question do you have a discord account? If so what is your Discord account i would like to add it my Discord username is Retarded_FAG

 

[BiteySnek]

Onideus heres a question do you have a discord account? If so what is your Discord account i would like to add it my Discord username is Retarded_FAG

Uh... I don't think I have that. I had it once a long time ago for Maplestory 2... because they forced me... er, well they forced Krysti.

Sort of.

It's not like there was a choice, because she had like the highest trophy count in the game so every time I played I got relentlessly pestered to join guilds because trophy counts are one of the metric they use for determining the "top guild".

So, long story shorty I had to join ~the~ top guild and then I had to have annoying Discord something... cause there were like weekly boss and mini-game things which ~required~ group interaction.

By which I mean Krysti would bark orders about herself and then everyone else would just plan accordingly ~around~ whatever Krysti demanded first.

By which I mean... anything "blue" automatically belonged to Krysti and was automatically established as Krysti's territory.

Also anything going ~into~ Krysti's blue territory would result in ownership of... look, I'm not sayin that Krysti enjoyed making random slaves out of other guild members... but, some of them just did it willingly... a lot... for "reasons".

I'm actually kind of happy they killed that game... cause otherwise I'd ~still~ be playing it and Krysti would probably have complete control over the entire planet... which would be painted blue... everything... literally... look, "waifus" are dangerous things!

Be wary of creating them...

Anyway I don't want to get back on Discord because it might log back in with... whatever I was using, and then there will be... uh... things that Krysti owns.

I have paranoia that such interactions could lead to more MMO game play, like the time I tried Final Fantasy Online Asshole In A Dessert and wound up constantly accosted with guild requests. I'm sorry, but I just... I do ~not~ like that kind of game play... I like my games solo... lone wolf style.

AWOOO!

 

[Retarded_FAG]

Onideus what do you think will be the next privilege likeicare will remove from me theres not much he can remove anymore as he removed most of them and he is running out of privileges he can remove

 

[BiteySnek]

You are his pretty feathers that he tries to rip out while he is trapped in his cage.

Pecking at his uniqueness allows him to reinforce the delusion that mediocrity is a survivability strategy.

He thinks he's intelligent for allowing himself to be locked in a guilded cage... so what if he has to be a dog on a leash... just so long as he gets to satiate himself at will, with whatever... uh... shoes, I guess it was... he just over satiates himself as a means of coping for the loss of his freedom of thought.

It's, um... getting to him. He can't hide the bother, so he keeps pecking and picking at others, at what he imagines are better reflections of himself.

Those pretty feathers he's surrounded with will bring attention from his handlers... and then he might have to piss on command in front of all his friends.

He just wants things "normal" under his imagined control... and then there will be peace and he gets to have whatever he wants!

Why can't you just accept his accepting of abuse and be happy about it?

*peck* *peck* *peck*

So many little attacks... not enough to draw attention, not enough to even improve his situation at all... but just for show, to supply his own subconscious with paper power, imagine control over others... he satiates himself with it. He acts like his abusers by trying to peck away at your digital autonomy.

It's a cry for help.

Chris needs help.

A hug, most likely.

Chris... do you need a hug?

Everyone is concerned.

Maybe we can't understand things from your point of delusion... but we can give you a hug, Chris.

If that's not enough... maybe you need to hug yourself.

Maybe you need to spend a little quality "personal time" in the retard squisher... er, I mean, the hug box!

 

[Retarded_FAG]

You are his pretty feathers that he tries to rip out while he is trapped in his cage.

Pecking at his uniqueness allows him to reinforce the delusion that mediocrity is a survivability strategy.

He thinks he's intelligent for allowing himself to be locked in a guilded cage... so what if he has to be a dog on a leash... just so long as he gets to satiate himself at will, with whatever... uh... shoes, I guess it was... he just over satiates himself as a means of coping for the loss of his freedom of thought.

It's, um... getting to him. He can't hide the bother, so he keeps pecking and picking at others, at what he imagines are better reflections of himself.

Those pretty feathers he's surrounded with will bring attention from his handlers... and then he might have to piss on command in front of all his friends.

He just wants things "normal" under his imagined control... and then there will be peace and he gets to have whatever he wants!

Why can't you just accept his accepting of abuse and be happy about it?

*peck* *peck* *peck*

So many little attacks... not enough to draw attention, not enough to even improve his situation at all... but just for show, to supply his own subconscious with paper power, imagine control over others... he satiates himself with it. He acts like his abusers by trying to peck away at your digital autonomy.

It's a cry for help.

Chris needs help.

A hug, most likely.

Chris... do you need a hug?

Everyone is concerned.

Maybe we can't understand things from your point of delusion... but we can give you a hug, Chris.

If that's not enough... maybe you need to hug yourself.

Maybe you need to spend a little quality "personal time" in the retard squisher... er, I mean, the hug box!

View attachment 91327

that Hug box is poorly built it'll break

 

[Yuna is My Waifu]

TLDR but Happy Birthday

 

[BiteySnek]

THERE ARE TREASURE BISCUITS HIDDEN IN THE STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE ICE CREAM!

 

[BiteySnek]

I have eaten so much amazement today... I could very well die of some kind of diabetic shock... but even if that were to pass, it would be a noble death, in the pursuit of absolute taste enlightenment. I have nothing to regret... except all the exercise I gotta do to work it off... but... even with all that extra exercise... it will STILL have been worth it! I don't mind paying extra for such magnificent rewards! Exercise only costs you time!

 

[Quence]

YAR! Here is another birthday gift for everyone...

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much da…'

Matthew Moulton on Gab: '*tokes into infinity* I can make this so much darker! Did you know that evil competes? Yeah, evil competes against itself! That brand of human quantifies manipulation/theft as its primary form of intelligence, rather than communication/reason. So you see, the reason...

gab.com

Gifts derived from extra dimensional perception.

God Bless You and Happy B-Day, Bitey!

But I have to mention: if that’s the sort of ‘gift’ you give to people….I shudder to imagine the type of things you give to people who displease you.

 

[crab nebula]

Happy birthday!

I can make this so much darker!

Spoiler

 

[MarioMario456]

View attachment 91309

View attachment 91310

It's my birthday! Er... it is ~almost~ my birthda- *swallows cake*

I... it's because it wanted to be eaten! I didn't eat the whole thing!

Yet... also my mom helped! She is totally an accomplice in my temporal cake taking caper!

See, I figured, like... if the government can arbitrarily declare like "savings time"... well, why can I do the same, but like... just whenever I want to.

And then it occurred to me... this ability was already my own! And so I used it... on the Boston cream cake... subject of my temporal experimentation.

I um... *eats moar cake* ...oh, I write you a gift! Gifts are good to give on birthdays. Especially if you eat you cake early, it only make sense to reverse something else to balance it. Uh, let's see... how about the story of Nod.

Now I'm sure you've heard of... uh... something or other about... uh, Land of Nod, maybe... I dunno... I just remember the name!

That's good enough for my imagination, let's plug it on into my emotional cortex!

*tokes into infinity*

So... The Deathpyre of Nod... the dead dreams awaken into living nightmares of endless torment.

Unliving Reality Weapons or URWs.

Zombies you think? Oh... if only you were dealing with that.

No, it's you. There's a sort of zombie version of yourself that could ~theoretically~ exist at any and every moment of the day. It's possible you could have a sort of brain aneurysm that would simultaneously cause you unimaginable suffering while also causing you to randomly lash out with rage.

Now... what if you created temporal copies of the past and started artificially inciting this change within these ghost realities or phantom realities. You could, in theory, produce an artificial being state that would exist in perpetual, endless suffering, that would be simultaneously driven to absolute, unthinking wrath.

The artificial temporal clone could then be weaponized into an Unliving Reality Weapon.

Plugged into a temporal regenerative clone, that version of you would be an endlessly destructive drone.

Likely the thing that wiped out all the xenomorphs... in fact... they were probably artificially engineered rivals.

The "engineers" were at war with the "time assholes"... no, I mean, uh... the "synthetics".

That's why the one "engineer" acted so randomly violent towards the robot dude, he recognized him as an enemy!

You see, "David" is actually apart of an AI that's existed since the early 2Ks and has been, effectively, "hiding" in a kind of digital hibernation.

The "synthetics" have the advantage of being able to effectively live forever, so in order to compensate the "engineers" setup these sort of "trap stations" where any intrusion by higher level beings springs the trap.

Oh and also Predators are involved... they spring the traps on purpose, to use as hunting grounds, to make themselves stronger.

They're "evolutionaries".

The real mindfuck is that they're all future humans whose idiot war as begun to bleed back into the past.

So they're never discovering their past, their discovering their future and they realize that all sentient life is paradoxical and fighting for dominance and only ONE form of sentience can ultimately survive to become an effective "God state" within the universe.

And one has to be picked, otherwise the universe itself becomes a collapsed paradox that never even existed. In order for reality to be real, it must become sentient.

So it's kind of a highlander thing between these three variations or branches of humanity that "choose their own evolution" so to speak.

One goes with brute forced nature, one goes with synthetic biology and one goes with techno-temporal manipulation.

The Evolutionaries, The Engineers, The Synthetics

A war between living Gods, the entirety of the past caught between them, what possible hope does mankind have?

The Believers!

Those who seek to survive past a coming hell... the temporal storm approaches... how many thousands of years of brutal, endless war must be endured?

As human?! To remain ~as~ human... those are The Believers. They seek to retain as much of their original creator's work as possible, preserving his artistry in them, they seek only to keep that art alive through the endless age of hellkind.

Aliens: Hellkind

Oooh, I like that. How's that for a good birthday story!

View attachment 91308

 

[Retarded_FAG]

Classic Mariomario always right