Definitely Backyard Soccer on PC.
The game was made for little kids and as a result has a control scheme that feels like it was designed by little kids. EVERYTHING, shooting, passing, moving, etc, is all binded to the SAME FEW KEYS, no matter whether you use mouse or keyboard. No way to rebind shit either. People always talk about how "nostalgic" and "good" the backyard sports games are in general, because they haven't mentally evolved past 7. I would rather break it in half and get forced to eat the broken shards of the disc than play that fucking gay ass retarded cunt-fucking dick-sucking pile of bronyfag turds.